i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
