Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
bring money and cleavage
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
