my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Your penis caused this!
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