weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
