i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
