I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm sobbing to NWA
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
