I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
