Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
