Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize