I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
you had me at cake vodka
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
