Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
