people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
