at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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