"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
