Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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