You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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