walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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