another moral hangover. fuck.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You can't motorboat a personality
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
