Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
