omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It's official drugs can't kill me
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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