he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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