So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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