Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
