im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
