I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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