This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
