What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
