I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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