What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
