I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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