I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
