so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Let's get the cat blown out
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
