Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
