Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
