I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm bleeding and have questions
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