false alarm. still invincible.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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