adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
