Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Randomize
