it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize