Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
