if you like me you must not know who I am
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
