just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
