she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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