thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
