I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
