It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
