Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
