oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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