Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I need to stop coming to work sober
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
