On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
