Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
