all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
