So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
