nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
whose ass print is on the piano?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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