Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
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