If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I have demons in me.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Randomize
