girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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