New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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