Got a toothbrush?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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