I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
