He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize