My nipple is on Facebook.
i would punch a child for taco bell
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Drake has all the answers
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
