Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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