yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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