oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
