bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
